


Sad-Eyed Cheeky Rent-boy

by GlassRose



Series: Fluffy Avengers [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Clint Barton is a pain in the ass, Clint Barton ships Bucky and Happiness, Demisexual Steve Rogers, Fluff, M/M, Makeover, Pansexual Bucky Barnes, Pranks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-14
Updated: 2014-06-14
Packaged: 2018-02-04 14:16:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1782061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GlassRose/pseuds/GlassRose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky has waited eighty years for his best friend to notice him. Darcy and Clint give him a makeover.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sad-Eyed Cheeky Rent-boy

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own the characters but as the author of the story I do not want this posted anywhere else without my explicit permission.

Darcy wasn't busy today. Yeah, she should be prepping for GREs since Tony had offered to cover her tuition for grad school, but some days are not for school work. Some days are for chilling in the Avengers' Tower and—backing up and peeking in your friend's bedroom because he is staring at himself in the mirror very seriously. Darcy walked up behind Bucky and stared in the mirror seriously as well, but no explanation was immediately apparent. Finally she said, "Okay, what are you staring at?"

He turned to her. "Would you notice this?"

"Notice what?"

"Me."

"Oh. Um, sure, you stand out. Wait, do you have a date?" she asked excitedly.

His face dropped. "No, just…no."

"You have a date!"

"I do not have a date. I'm getting a late lunch with a _friend_."

Darcy clapped her hands gleefully. "But you _want_ it to be a date."

Bucky looked around furtively. "Maybe," he admitted.

"And you want to be noticed."

"Well…I don't know. Maybe it's time to cut my hair."

"Ohmigod, yes. You need a new look. You're not World War II Bucky anymore and you're definitely not the Winter Soldier, so…if you want, I can totally bring you into the twenty-first century. I am so good at this kind of thing."

Bucky glanced back at the mirror, frowning slightly and pressing his lips together.

"And I can promise Steve will notice."

He jerked around to glare at Darcy. She grinned broadly. He bit his lip and nodded. "What should I change?"

"You shouldn't think of it as changing—pull your hair back, I need to see your face—just think of it as highlighting your natural beauty."

Bucky rolled his eyes but obeyed. "Okay, how should I highlight, then?"

"I will be right back!" Darcy ran out of his bedroom and into the elevator. She was gone for five minutes, which gave Bucky more than enough time to work up a lot of anxiety about changing his look at all.

When Darcy did return, Bucky tried to say, "You know, maybe I'll just—" but she emptied a duffel bag on his bed.

"Okay." She dug through the junk to find a pair of scissors and a comb. "Do you trust me?"

"I don't trust anyone."

"Except Cap, I know, I know, but you could tear me to pieces before I could even accidentally nick you with these scissors. I mean do you trust me to make you pretty?"

Bucky blinked. "Shouldn't I want to look handsome?"

"Ugh, gendered adjectives? Are you serious?—can you pull your hair back again, thank you—I mean I get that you're like a hundred, but for real. I'm gonna make you pretty and all the boys and girls and enbies will drool." Darcy held up her hands, palms out and thumbs pointed at each other, squinting at Bucky's face.

"Enbies?"

"Hold still for a sec. Non-binary people. Not boys, not girls. You know that; you've got a friend who's masculine-presenting genderqueer."

Bucky obeyed the order, moving only his eyes and lips. "Who?"

"Well, fuck, if you don't know, he can tell you. Okay, I've got it. How about buzzed sides, not too short, gelled on top, maybe a couple inches long. But I've got fancy product so it'll be fluffy. But badass. Or spiky, whatever you want. Your face is square enough so trust me, it will look good."

"This is what people do now?"

"This is what sexy people do now."

Bucky worried at his lip for a few seconds before he finally exhaled heavily and said, "Okay. Can't be worse, right?"

Darcy grinned. "Well, it can be, but it won't be, because I am good at this. Now go shower and wash your hair. And use conditioner!"

Bucky gave her a sarcastic salute as he went in the bathroom. When he got out of the shower, Darcy had set down a towel underneath a chair and laid out various barber implements on the dresser. "What are you doing?" she scolded. "Don't put on dirty clothes; you just showered!" She threw a pair of clean pants at him.

"Don't throw things at me," Bucky said, very controlled.

Darcy had the decency to look ashamed as he retreated to the bathroom to change pants. When Bucky came out, Darcy indicated the chair. "You ready?" she asked carefully.

"Yeah."

"Wanna donate to Locks of Love? These'll be the only nonagenarian's pigtails they ever get."

"I have no idea what you're talking about, but okay."

"Yay!" Darcy toweled off Bucky's hair and started brushing.

 

About forty minutes later, Clint, on his way to the lab to work on arrows, wandered through the hallway, where the door to Bucky's bedroom was still open. He stopped suddenly, blinked, backed up, and stared.

"Who…?"

Darcy turned. "Clint! Come see twenty-first century Bucky."

Bucky slowly swiveled on the chair toward Clint, whose eyes widened. He made a strangled noise in his throat.

"Not good?" Bucky said nervously.

"Aw…no, the opposite of that. God, you pull off eyeliner well. Charcoal?"

"The opposite of good?"

"The opposite of _not_ good," Clint clarified. "What in the hell are you thinking, Darce? He's a senior citizen and the girls and boys and the rest of us will be mobbing him on the street. I will be."

"I'll tell Natasha," Bucky mumbled.

"You like me too much to do that. So why the new look?"

"Buck has a date," Darcy said, entirely too gleeful as she ran her fingers through Bucky's hair, showing off the way it bounced.

"I do _not_ have a date—"

Clint interrupted. "Wait, are you and Steve—"

"He's all dolled up so Captain Crunch will _notice_ him—"

"Shut up, Darcy!"

"Please, like everyone doesn't know you have a big crush on him," Clint said, yawning. "Are you wearing that?"

"Jeans and a towel?" Bucky said. "Yeah, that's exactly what I'm wearing."

"Well, he'll notice those pecs, big boy."

"Yeah, and I'm sure I'll get mobbed on the street by admirers when everyone sees my scars."

"Well the arm stands out more than the scars, if you want my honest opinion."

"Shut up, you two," Darcy ordered. "Bucky has a date in an hour and we have to dress him first."

Clint threw open the closet. Bucky flinched. "Will you guys stop being violent with my things and in front of me and in my room?"

"Aw, sorry, I didn't mean to. Okay, this." He pulled out a pair of leather boots and opened the dresser. "Are these the tightest pants you have?"

Darcy snorted. "Are you going for the rent boy look?"

"Hey, I'm just trying to get the poor old geezer laid. You're the one who put eyeliner on him."

"I'm like thirty," Bucky argued. 

"You're ninety-seven, grandpa," Clint said, digging in a drawer for a shirt. "This is no use; I'll have to get one of my—ow! Aw, hearing aid, no, come on."

"What happened?" Darcy asked.

"The left hearing aid blew. Again. Tony is starting to piss me off with his shitty repair jobs. I need a replacement. Okay, I'll be right back. You, try on pants. Darcy, you check them. I'm finding a shirt. I'm thinking blue, v-neck?"

"Definitely," Darcy said emphatically as Clint ran out the door.

"I'm not a doll," Bucky said quietly.

Darcy jerked. "Oh my god. I didn't…I didn't mean to, Bucky, I'm sorry. I just wanted to help."

"I know. Can't really change what happened to me though."

"No, of course not." She sat down. "You're you, you know, whatever you look like. I just thought a new look would help you feel, you know, separate from…"

"From the Winter Soldier?"

"Yeah." She fidgeted, playing with her hair.

"Well, I'm looking in the mirror now, and I guess I don't see him." He smiled at her, a small smile, but a real one. "So thanks."

"You're welcome. You—you don't have to wear whatever Clint brings back. Or the tight pants. Steve infiltrated a HYDRA weapons factory alone to rescue his princess in the tower. Dude would've died for you. If you want my opinion, Captain Virgin is just waiting for a signal."

"You think so?"

"Well…I'm like 76.5% sure. Maybe 77%."

"Thanks."

"Totally. Can I paint your nails? I don't think the nail polish will eat through titanium. Or whatever that is."

Bucky lifted his head slowly, rolling his eyes as dramatically as possible.

 

Steve was only a couple minutes later to his lunch date with Bucky, but after parking his motorcycle, he looked around, not spotting the long hair anywhere. Until the sultry-eyed guy in the dark blue v-neck sitting under the gingko tree waved at him. Steve's jaw dropped. Bucky quirked a smile at him as he sat down.

"You look…"

"Different?"

"Amaz—uh, modern." _Hot_. Really fucking hot, and Steve had to shift his thigh. Not that Bucky wasn't always hot, but goddamn, who knew eyeliner could look so good on him.

"Darcy," Bucky explained.

"I wondered about the eyeliner."

"Too much?"

"No," Steve said quickly. Maybe too quickly. It wasn't like Bucky got all hot for him. That was just Buck. He was probably going fishing this evening. For girls. Maybe for boys? "It looks good on you."

Bucky relaxed visibly. "I wasn't sure about it."

"I, uh, I didn't see your bike."

"Darcy wouldn't let me ride. Said it would mess up the hair, so she dropped me off. Being pretty is very restricting. I don't remember it being like this in the forties."

Steve frowned. "I think it's always been like that for women."

"Hmm, good point." They were interrupted by the waiter.

 

When the young dark-haired waiter brought Steve the receipt to sign, he also slid a piece of paper across the table to Bucky and winked at him before taking the signed receipt and leaving with their empty plates.

"Huh."

"What?"

"I think Darcy was right. I am getting noticed." Bucky flipped the paper so Steve could see the ten digit number.

"Are you going to call him?"

Seduction. Flirtation. Bucky used to be good at this. This was a perfect opening to see if Steve was jealous, if he played it right. Oh god, if. _Be smooth_. He shrugged and looked up. "Mm, depends on whether I get a better offer." He slid his gaze back down to Steve's, who didn't seem to have anything to say. Ooh. Not good. Or maybe good. Steve was never very competent at flirting, so maybe he just didn't know how to respond. Or he didn't care.

"Right." That was a muscle clenching in his jaw. Yeah. He was jealous. Unless he wasn't. Unless he just had an aching joint or remembered something unpleasant suddenly. Oh, he was talking again. "—anything tonight, though, I was thinking we could go to my place and watch one of the movies on the list?"

"Hmm?" Bucky blinked. "Oh. Yeah, Clint was saying we absolutely have to watch…shit, what was it called…I'll text him." He pulled out and texted both Clint and Darcy.

_To: Birdbrain  
What was the movie we have to see?_

_To: Snow White  
He def noticed me but idk if he wants me. going to his place 4 movie._

Bucky looked up to see Steve stretching. "Mind doubling up on the bike?"

"Only if I get to drive."

"But it's my bike," Steve said, shifting his weight back and forth.

"Don't you trust me?" Bucky asked, standing up. Steve had better agree, otherwise Captain America was going to get something digging into his back the whole ride back to his apartment, and Bucky would never, ever live it down. Not that Steve would be mean about it, but Bucky would be embarrassed as hell. His phone buzzed.

_From: Snow White  
He wants you, dumbass. Stop freaking and just chill._

"News?" Steve asked.

"Nope, just Darcy." Bucky's phone buzzed again.

_From: Birdbrain  
The Room.  & if the eyeliner doesn't do it, seduce him with ur mouth, it always looks like u just sucked cock. use ur tongue. hope this helps_

_To: Birdbrain  
Wtf, is everyone silently lusting after me or something?_

"Oh, Clint says it's called _The Room_. Apparently it's a classic and a masterpiece. So, shall we?" He didn't mention the rest of Clint's text.

Steve grumbled but mounted the motorcycle behind Bucky, circling his arms around his best friend. "You're going to ruin your hair," he muttered.

 

Steve Rogers was determinedly thinking about naked Colonel Phillips and not at all thinking about his best friend against whose back he was pressed. He was also not thinking about the tight pants his best friend was wearing or the—Naked Colonel Phillips. Naked Colonel Phillips.

It was no use. Bucky was dressed to excite, and Steve didn't really need help there, not since 1935. He tried to scoot back on the seat, but there wasn't any room. Fortunately, Bucky didn't say anything…until he pulled up in Steve's driveway and parked.

"Is that for me?"

Steve turned beet red and mumbled something about his cell phone in his pocket.

"Your cell phone has a really strange shape."

Steve groaned. "You let Clint and Darcy do that to you, you were obviously trying to turn heads; are you so surprised when it works?"

Bucky bit his lip. He was doing that a lot lately. "A little."

"You got a phone number without even trying." Steve knew he sounded jealous. It was stupid; Bucky always went out with other people—but he used to come home to Steve. Now they didn't even live together. Hell, Buck lived in the Avengers Tower, which a number of beautiful people used as home base. Why bother with jealousy now, when he could probably find a lover easily?

Because he was a sap. Because it seemed like people today wanted sex first and love later, and Steve couldn't do that. It wasn't a moral issue or anything; sex and love just didn't work that way for him. His head rejected the notion, his body didn't respond to a stranger's seductive smile, and his heart really only beat for one person.

"So…you think I'm pretty."

"You're always…." Steve stopped. "You know I'm demisexual, right?"

"Kind of wondered. Well, after Darcy made me memorize the MOGII dictionary."

"I'm not gonna be very objective about this whole 'are you sexually attractive' thing. But yes, you're pretty, you jerk."

Bucky grinned. "Punk. Pretty punk," he added quickly, looking up through his eyelashes, which—no, really, had Darcy actually put mascara on him?

"Yeah?"

"Thought so in '36, not much has changed in eighty years."

"You've got to be kidding me."

"What?" Bucky's eyes widened and he took a step back, defensive.

"I can't believe how long it took us." Steve shook his head and laughed.

All the tension visibly drained from Bucky. "You shoulda said."

" _You_ should've said!"

"You knew I was playing both sides—or all sides, really—but I didn't know who or what you were into!"

"Basically mostly just you. How was that not obvious? I risked a court martial and probable death to find you during the war."

"You were there to rescue all of us."

"No, I was there to rescue you!"

"Your princess in the tower?"

"Something like that."

"Thought you'd do that for your best friend. And the saving my life after I shot you in the gut."

"Well, okay, yes, but, that doesn't—and you saved my life after that, remember?"

"I didn't know who you were! You just made me feel something besides pain and fear again; I couldn't watch you die."

Steve reached out to him and Bucky let him pull him into a gentle embrace, forehead resting on Steve's shoulder. "You're right," Steve said. "I would have done it for my best friend, but I'm also in love with you."

Bucky froze, tensing. "You—you're—you're in love with me?"

Steve swallowed. "Yeah, Buck. Since forever." He was fairly certain his heart had stopped. Oh god. He'd screwed up. Bucky was going to run. He'd scared him off. Shit, he should have waited, should have taken it slower, should—kiss him back, because Bucky's arms were around him and his mouth was pressed against Steve's. His lips were soft, and Steve automatically opened his mouth to deepen the kiss, hands clutching at Bucky's back. He let himself get lost in the feeling until Bucky pulled back and Steve, feeling dazed, realized someone was clapping. He jerked around to see a woman on the sidewalk next to the driveway. "What?"

She laughed. "You guys are a freaking soap opera or you're full of fish tales. Or both."

"Both," Bucky said immediately. He murmured in Steve's ear, "How about in the house so no one bothers us?"

"Right," Steve replied, although he didn't really want to release Bucky. Something buzzed against his thigh right then. He ignored it and kissed Bucky again, who smiled and dragged him to the door. Bucky's phone buzzed again. And again. And again. "Your phone," Steve said as he unlocked the door.

"Right," Bucky answered, but he made no move to answer it. It buzzed a few more times as he pushed Steve against the wall in the foyer and kissed him softly. Steve ran his hands along Bucky's sides, trying to find a comfortable rhythm, but he could hear Bucky laughing. Miffed, he put his hands firmly on Bucky's back and dipped him, kissing him more fiercely. He was gratified to feel his friend's hands squeeze at his shoulders and a high-pitched noise in his throat. Eventually they had to break for air, and Steve righted them again. Bucky looked dazed. "Holy shit," he muttered. The phone buzzed again. "What the fuck?" he snapped. "I have gotten like twenty-five texts in the last five minutes." He pulled it out and started reading, his eyes narrowing as he read through them.

"What's going on?"

Bucky put his head in his hands. "Clint."

"What did he do?"

Bucky sighed. "He was giving me advice about seducing you, and, well, here." He handed the phone to Steve.

_From: Birdbrain  
The Room.  & if the eyeliner doesn't do it, seduce him with ur mouth, it always looks like u just sucked cock. use ur tongue. hope this helps_

Steve choked on air and blushed. Bucky smirked. "Keep reading."

_To: Birdbrain  
Wtf, is everyone silently lusting after me or something?_

_From: Birdbrain  
What are u talking about. I am not silent._

_From: Snow White  
I'll have you know I like you as a person but yes_

_From: Soviet Spider  
Stay away from Clint and yes_

_From: Millennium Falcon  
Hmm, pasty white frat-boy, that should be a no, but somehow it's a yes._

_From: Son of Coul  
No. _

_From: Blue Skyes  
Haha you're not my type. But you're gorgeous anyway; it's very disconcerting._

_From: Son of Coul  
Maybe._

_From: Trip  
Well that would be sort of weird since you're my granddad's war buddy._

_From: Son of Coul  
Okay, yes._

_From: Low key  
Ehehehe_

_From: Low key  
If I say yes, will that simply stroke your ego or will I get something out of it?_

_From: cavalry  
No_

_From: Jemma  
Um, no, I mean, I'm not, and I mean, you're pretty, of course, in a sort of sad-eyed cheeky rent-boy sort of way, which is nice._

_From: Jemma  
OMG I didn't mean to send that!!!!!_

_From: Fitz  
Not really._

_From: Fitz  
A tiny bit._

_From: Thunderbutt  
I do not lust after anyone, my friend. Nor would I dream of pursuing my friend's beloved. Nevertheless, your form is aesthetically pleasing._

_From: Not technically Iron  
sure_

_From: Cayenne, Bell, Jalapeno  
This seems like an inappropriate forum, but of course you're an attractive man._

_From: Eyepatch  
If you're fishing for compliments, look somewhere else, motherfucker._

_From: Hill  
Yup_

_From: Rhodey  
Nope_

_From: Rhodey  
Seriously?_

_From: Robin Hood  
'Course I have, old lad, but don't tell the boyfriend. Jealousy isn't a green-eyed monster, it's a green-eyed trickster god._

_From: Smash  
Um, I guess so._

_From: Jane  
???? Are you needing validation or something? Sure, you're a cutie. Does that help?_

Steve could barely breathe by the time he finished reading, he was laughing so hard. "Simmons," he gasped. "I can't believe she said that."

"Do I really look like a sad-eyed cheeky rent-boy?" Bucky asked.

"I have no idea," Steve answered, wiping his eyes. "I've never um…rented one. Who is Snow White?"

"Darcy."

"Oh." Steve started laughing again. "Clint's good…."

"I know, I'm trying to figure out how to get him back for this. Can we send him a pornographic picture of us?"

"He'll tweet it."

"Shit." Bucky smirked. "On the upside, everyone but Rhodey and May wants me. Damn, I should've had a threesome with Clint and Natasha. Too late now…."

Steve glared. "Let them try."

Bucky laughed and grabbed Steve's hand with his left one, dragging him into the living room. "Sit," he said, pointing to the couch. Steve obeyed, and Bucky straddled his lap, right hand reaching to cup his cheek. Steve swallowed, leaning into it. The affection he'd so desperately wanted eighty years ago was suddenly his, and he realized that his lack of, well, practice might be problematic for a man his age. He opened his eyes to find Bucky looking at him with…fondness? Something nice.

"Steve, have you ever…." Bucky let the question trail off, but the meaning was clear.

Steve shook his head. "Never. Nothing. Kissing, that's all." He was probably blushing, but Bucky would understand. Hopefully.

He did. "Well then. Guess I get to teach you."

Steve nodded. There was definitely a powerful _want_ coursing through him, but he didn't want to rush this. Every minute spent with Bucky so close was to be treasured; surely sex would only be part of that. And it would probably be an amazing part, but it didn't have to be now. This making out thing was really quite fantastic. On the other hand, Bucky was an old pro—at least Steve was pretty sure he was—and might want to dive right in. Steve didn't want to disappoint him.

"Whenever you're ready. Doesn't have to be today. Or this week." Bucky kissed the tip of Steve's nose and grinned at him. 

"That…yeah, can we just kiss for a little while?"

Bucky grinned broadly and sealed his mouth over Steve's, tongue boldly exploring Steve's mouth. They had found a perfect rhythm when Bucky's phone buzzed again. "God fucking damn it," Bucky snapped. "What is it now?"

_From: Birdbrain  
Plz tell me u got capn hook drooling over ur hair._

Bucky groaned. "I have to text him back or he won't stop."

_To: Birdbrain  
He's drooling over my personality and thank you for the 25 texts. Go away, we're busy._

"Now, where were we?" _Buzz_. "Okay, seriously?"

_From: Birdbrain  
Watch the room. It's super romantic and amazing writing and acting and stuff. Perfect for getting laid._

Bucky took the battery out of his phone, to Steve's amusement. "No one is gonna stop us from making out like a couple of teenagers," he said irritably. "Not today."

A sound that Steve would later deny making was surprised out of him by Bucky's warm, firm lips on his neck. His head fell back against the couch as he tried to regain control of his breath. Making out like teenagers was something Steve had only rarely done before, even as a teenager, but it was so nice to not be a couple of lost boys out of their time, a couple of boys from whom so much had been taken, for a few minutes. Because right now it was easy to forget the ice and the torture and the separation and everything that had come between them. Right now they were just a couple of teenagers in an otherwise empty house, kissing each other stupid before some grown-up came home and caught them. Steve's mouth met Bucky's and his hands gripped his shoulders as they lost themselves in the feeling of—

"Oh my _god_."

Buzzkill. Dad was home. 

"Do you mind?" Bucky said, glaring, as Steve twisted around to see Coulson gaping at them.

Yup, definitely Dad. Coulson gave off that air of Dad despite the fanboy crush on Captain America. Steve wasn't sure if his presence killed the scene or validated it, but he really just wanted him to leave.

"I feel like I should have seen that coming," Phil said, awestruck. "Nice hair, by the way."

"You can't just barge in! What the fuck was that? Are you trying to get yourself killed?"

"I knocked five times. And Rogers doesn't kill people for—"

"Do you know who I am? _I_ could kill people for startling me. You're lucky I recognized your voice. Now go away."

"Right. Uh, Cap, files, for you, I'll just leave them—"

"Thank you." Steve smiled tightly at him, and Phil beat a hasty retreat. Bucky followed him, locking the deadbolt on the front door. When he returned to the living room, Steve was lying down on the couch. He pulled Bucky down on top of him. "So," he said casually, "want to make out?"

"God, do I wanna," Bucky said eagerly. "And no interruptions this time." He tangled his hand in Steve's hair and leaned down to kiss him.

It was right at that moment that Steve's phone rang.

 

Tony Stark was more than happy to provide electronics for his friends, but he was a little surprised when Steve held up a Ziploc bag full of very small pieces and asked for a replacement if it couldn't be fixed.

"Is that your cell phone?" Tony asked, scowling at the bag.

"Yeah."

"Those are next to impossible to break. I can barely do it in the suit!" Tony said in wonder. "You've powdered it! What happened?"

Steve shrugged. "Occupational hazard."

Tony rolled his eyes and shook his head as Bucky, leaning against the wall, waved at him with his left hand.


End file.
